i keep telling myself, tonight is going to be fun. it is. i'm gonna have a good time. but it's like no matter what there's always drama. gosh i hate drama. it makes my stomach hurt. as soon as chels gets back tomorrow the whole room is going to explode and everyone is going to be upset. i love my roomates. i do, but my nerves are shot. i feel like i'm carrying around a bag full of rocks and no one else can really help me out. it sucks. i'll just have fun while i can and wait for the pressure to build until finally it'll pop.

today today caloo calayy :) i'm just happy. he makes me smile. my roomates make me smile. everything is just good. the room is dirty yeah, but i love chelsea still. we had a lovely mexican food dinner at pueblo viejo tonight. me chels lizzie and megs. it was awesome. and then they declined both of lizzie's cards so i had to pay for the other half of her meal. whoooopsies. hahaha. my friends make me smile. last night i hung out with jake and kat. hahahaha gosh story of my life. going out to eat. we went to hibachi. it was just fun hanging out the three of us. i love when we do that. i miss my girls. step. kim. elsb. jewels. eric. but im hanging out a lot more than i was last semester. i'm trying to stay busy which is really helpful. i think i've hung out with kelsey and meagan more than anyone. oh and lizzie too. i'm waiting for her to hate me again so we'll see.

i think i found the church i wanna be a part of. i really like the church lizzie took me to sunday morning. it's called first community. it's super modern. its' also where something called the new muse is. i've never been and i have no clue what that is, but sounds cool. the worship is good and the message is awesome. so i wanna go back and possibly get involved at some point. and then i went to brentwood sunday night with meagan and that was awesome too. i really really loved that. so i think i'll just start going to both :) tehehehehe

this might be a sin, but i've probably listened to i just had sex 5 times today. i can sing it word for word.

closing time.
time for you to go out, go out into the world.
closing time.
turn the lights up over every boy and every girl.
closing time.
one last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer.
closing time.
you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

i know who I want to take me home.
i know who I want to take me home.
i know who I want to take me home.
take me home...

closing time.
time for you to go back to the places you will be from.
closing time.
this room won't be open 'til your brothers or you sisters come.
so gather up your jackets, and move it to the exits.
I hope you have found a friend.
closing time.
every new beginning comes from some other beginning'send.

yeah, I know who I want to take me home.
i know who I want to take me home.
i know who I want to take me home.
take me home...

closing time.
time for you to go back to the places you will be from...

i know who I want to take me home.
i know who I want to take me home.
i know who I want to take me home.
take me home...

closing time.
every new beginning comes from some other beginning'send...

i've been beaten down.
i've been kicked around.
but she takes it all for me.
and i lost my faith
in my darkest days
she makes me want to believe.

they call her love love love love love.
they call her love love love love love.
she is love, and she is all i need.

well i had my ways, they were all in vain,
but she waited patiently.
it was all the same, all my pride and shame,
and she put me on my feet.

they call her love love love love love
they call her love love love love love
they call her love love love love love
she is love, and she is all i need.

and when that world slows down,
dear and when those stars burn out here,
oh she'll be there, yes she'll be there.

they call her love love love love love
they call her love love love love love
they call her love love love love love.

she is love, and she is all i need
she is love, and she is all i need
she is love, and she is all i need.

chelsea

dear chelsea amerlia gaudiosea,

i heart you. you are evil. you like sweat pants. you also like socks and chocolate. we enjoy "watching" movies and gansgter dancing. we have baby bears that love one another so very much. and it's also very fun to sneakily insult one another behind or in front of other people with hand gestures. oreos are yummy. we go bird watching frequently and thoroughly enjoy the rot.

love always,
elizabeth louise seward

highlighter party

i want to. bad.

my second home

i'm back at school :)

it's hard to leave your family after a month, but at the same time it's easy. i was ready to leave the house because i wanna be on my own and not have to like always tell someone where i'm going, but when i saw my mom crying as she hugged me goodbye i almost let loose and cried too. i love my mom even though she annoys me i love her so much and she's one of my best friends. my dad too. i'm sad he didn't get to come with us. ugh i need to stop talking about this cause it's making me bummed out :/

i am happy to be back though! i'm all settled in my little nook of the room and whatever so that's a good thing :)

anyways i still have to go and get my text books. lizzie said the line when she went was an hour and a half long. i think i'll just wait until tomorrow to get em. ugh boots stupid books.

i need to sign up for old testament cause i'm only signed up for like 13 creds right now.
drawing 1
math
gned 102
icst 201

so yeah. basically i'm taking nothing. haha

You make me happy, whether you know it or not
We should be happy, that's what I said from the start
I am so happy, knowing you are the one
That I want for the rest of my days
For the rest of my days
You're all of my days.

You're lookin' so cool, you're lookin' so fly
I can't deny that when I'm staring
You down, right dead in the eye
I wanna try to be the person you want
The person you need
It's hard to conceive
That somebody like you could be with
Someone like me

I'm happy knowing that you are mine
The grass is greener on the other si-ide
The more I think, the more I wish
That we could lay here for hours, and just-a reminisce
Uhh ooo ooo

You're lookin' so fresh
It's catching my eye
Why, oh why, did I not see this before,
The girl I adore was right in front of me?
And now I'll take a step back and look in your eye
And ask why it took so long to see
We're meant to be

I'm happy knowing that you are mine
The grass is greener on the other si-ide
The more I think, the more I wish
That we could lay here for hours and just-a reminisce

On the good, the bad, the ugly
The smiles ,the laughs, the funny,
Or all the things we put each other through
It's for you, for you, for you.

You make me happy, whether you know it or not
We should be happy, that's what I said from the start
I am so happy, knowing you are the one
That I want for the rest of my days
For the rest of my days

I'm happy knowing that you are mine
The grass is greener on the other si-ide
The more I think, the more I wish
That we could lay here for hours and just-a reminisce.

Uhh ooo ooo

steffnay

stephanie honey. words can not describe how much you mean to me girlie. you've helped me out so much in the short time we've known each other. seriously? i dont think i could have gotten as much support from anyone else for the whole alex thing and for so many other things too. i love our sleep overs and hang outs! and how i can always smell your hair even when no one else can! :) teasing your hair up into a giant snooki bump and wearing whore dresses just to watch a tv show :) i love when you come and pick me up and we wear our pajamas to walmart with heather and kelly!! hahaha no one used to sit in my lazy boy chair because they knew it was property of stephanie dawkin's sleeping place! :) dumb little brother had to go and break it! and speaking of carlton i love that that one time when i left to go stay the night at christy's you and carlton sat in my house without me and played super smash brothers! hahaha i miss sushi go round but i still love to eat sushi with you! :) hahaha and omgsh when we did ipod karaokee to the spice girls song and i was totally out of breath by the end! hahahahaha that was crazy funn!! i'm soo proud of you girl! i know i tell you all the time, but its soo true. you have turned out sooo wonderfully, not that you were ever like a bad kid or anything, i just remember when you came to my house for that party with addie and you didn't know anyone and then we sat up really late together a couple of nights later. i think back to that stephanie and just see how much you've grown and developed into such an awesome and beautiful woman of God. i love you so much girl. you're like my sister and i'm always here for you, even when you dont wanna talk to me. i'm here ;)

kathryn

kathryn, my dear lynchburgian :) you make my heart happy!! with our constant boob poking and failed hair dying attempts (it only friggin worked on your hair when you went to beach week your sophomore year!!) i love our late night waffle house runs and our poor movie choices! man i dont wanna cry tonight so lets watch my sister's keeper that'll be good!! or when carlton makes crazy faces at the old men that work in the school cafeteria because they have a nasty amount of back hair! EWW!! carlton what's wrong?! look at that man!!!! hahahahahahaha i miss when we used to jump on the trampoline even in the bitter cold. and when we had interventions with destry about how he and julie would never be together.


how wrong were we huh? hahahaha it's awesome having you in lynchburg though for reals! i'm soo glad you're there and i love you so so so so so so so s o S O much!!!

kim

kim might i say i love you and all our jokes? tewtles and the turtle song? :) epic omgsh the crank that dora the explorer!! holy moly that was sophomore year!! do you remember we used to sit with laura fitrahh (not how it's spelled but whatever) and she asked you to like spend a weekend with her.. just the two of you.. and her family.. and her mom clothes? :) tehehehehe EARTHQUAKE!! we never even told him about that which might have been for the better cause i'm pretty sure a comment like that would have driven the poor boy to anorexia. we always used to jump on my trampoline and take lots of pictures and then go to 7-11 so i could get yelled at by that crochety old dude for checking the slurpee machine. ugh that dude was a total jerk!! oh hey how about when we get on the chatroulette and tell people they need to shave or talk to army guys? hmmm interesting. SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS!! YOU SHOW ME YOURS FIRST!! hmmm op down to 10% bitch. she should have brought us more refills and maybe she would have gotten a better tip :) or making a video of us talking to each other like we were brittish? oh oh and our bucket list! we're gonna dominate that this summer girl! i'm tellin you!!! crazy makeup. hair dye that doesn't work half the time. boys. photo sessions. soo many good times my dear. i love you for forever!!

The hope is fading from my lips
When I kiss you with goodbye
Now when you let go of our last embrace
Please don't look me in the eye
Secret's out, that I just might care about you
You broke me, you're leaving
There's nothing I can do

I'll find a way to close the door
I want to say so much more but
I found you once, you're lost again
Two thousand miles took what could have been

I don't want to
Won't let myself
I have to realize
This might be
This could be
This is goodbye
This is goodbye

The smile fate was wearing, slowly die
Minutes turn to months
Silence of the phone just mocks my cry
When I see that you've moved on
Secret's out that I did care about you
You broke me, you left me
There was nothing I could do

I'll find a way to close the door
I want to say so much more but
I found you once, you're lost again
Two thousand miles took what could have been

I don't want to
Won't let myself
I have to realize
This might be
This could be
This is goodbye

Do I ever cross your mind?
Cause you're on mine all the time
I can believe how unfair life is sometimes

Find a way to close the door
And be okay with nothing more but
Found you once, you're lost again
Two thousand miles took what could have been

I don't want to
Won't let myself
I have to realize
This might be
This could be
This is goodbye
This is goodbye

The hope is fading from my lips








this was stuck in my head all day :)

bahhh. today was a nice day. i talked to andrew all day. what else is new? :) he's tight though so yeah :)

1822. cookout. skype.

i'm happy actually and it feels awesome :)





anyways i'm ready to go back to school. praise the lord i'm going back this sunday! i can't wait to get out of this house. dont get me wrong but since everyone else left i'm like going cabin crazy up in here hahaha i love my family but they are driving me up a wall. it's like i can't do anything without either my mom or brother jumping down my throat. yikes. anyways love yall!! nighty night ;)

today was a fun day :) had a vocal lesson and then ran some errands. then erry body came over for me to do there hair and makeup for the jersey shore party. may i just say that steph julie daniel kat and i looked SO legit and then kim and eric dresses up too and holy moly that was real funny. eric let me put makeup on him. that was probably the high light of my night. umm then we went to the jersey shore party at kats and yeah hung out there.

may i say that i'm excited about this season of jersey shore? cause i totally am :)

and it's not that i'm dissapointed just a little left out.

love you all!!

shake it up.
i never loved nobody fully.
always one foot on the ground,
and by protecting my heart truly i got lost in the sounds.
i hear in my mind all these voices.
i hear in my mind all these words.
i hear in my mind all this music
and it breaks my heart
and it breaks my heart
and it breaks my heart
it breaks my heart.

suppose i never ever met you.
suppose we never suppose we never fell in love.
suppose i never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft.
suppose i never ever saw you.
suppose we never ever called.
suppose i kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall.
just to break my fall.
just to break my fall.
break my fall.
break my fall.

all my friends say that of course it's gonna get better.
gonna get better.
better
better
better
better
better
better
better.

i never loved nobody fully.
always one foot on the ground,
and by protecting my heart truly i got lost in the sounds.
i hear in my mind all these voices.
i hear in my mind all these words.
i hear in my mind all this music.

i hear in my mind all these voices.
i hear in my mind all these words.
i hear in my mind all this music

and it breaks my heart.
breaks my heart.

my heart is happy :)

first blog of the new year :)

anyways so yeah new years was awesome! my friend meagan came and spent the weekend at my house and she left this morning before church, but ummm yeah :) new years i had a party at my house and just hung out with people and then stayed up until 930am saturday morning due to our movie watching and chat rouletting and talking and craziness.

and may i just say that we went to waffle house that morning at like 8 or 830 and the new shift had started and those people are nazis!! the graveyard shift at waffle house is far more superior to the morning staff. they can kick a can!! ughh!! they wouldn't let the 6 of us sit in a booth. instead we had to sit 4 and 2. it was WAY gay!

mmm so lemme tell you about my chat roulette experience. it was my first time ever getting on cause all i heard was that you see all these guy's dongs and i was like eh eh i'm not all about that hahaha :)anyways. we had two laptops set up. me meagan elsbeth and sometimes ricardo were all on one and then kim carlton and eric were on my laptop on chat roulette. we were trying to get paired up with each other. we only saw three penis(es)[spell check?] total achievement :)) and then we got paired up with the hottest italian guy i've ever seen in my whole life. oh my goodness. i want him hahahahaha he sat and talked to us for like twenty five minutes and we just sat and talked about like nothing. he had been out drinking for new years and he only spoke a little english and when he spoke italian i was like mmmm me gusta :))) hahahahahahahahaha but we didn't get his friggin name to like add him on facebook or like email him or anything :( tooooottalll bummer because chat roulette had like a breakdown and we lost our connection to him waaaahhhh! oh fate you are so cruel hahaha anyways ya

so after that we watched another gay movie from fearnet and then went to waffle house and came home and slept till like 430. i woke up still tired and went to bed early that night. it was bliss