postphoning the yucky

i'm sitting here, reading other blogs. i'm usually pretty bad about reading other people's blogs in that i usually don't do it haha. but anyways, i'm doing it simply to put off the fact that i have to clean the den. it's wrecked from last night's little shin dig and i don't feel like clean. yuck. steph picked up a lot last night so that was helpful, but yeah. yuckky. anyways once i finish that i think i'm gonna paint the project i've been working on for my mom and hopefully get a lot of that done today. alex comes home saturday so my mom wants me to have like as much of my stuff packed by then as possible. i was supposed to spend today doing that... i didn't. not even gonna lie. alright. time to clean. love yaaass!!

my last night of seek and WOMAN'S NIGHT!!

ahhh tonight was kinda sad. okay can i just say that i was totally fine going into youth group tonight. i got teary eyed when missy came up to me while we were all standing up there, but i didn't cry. when stephanie horovath came up to me i teared up but didn't cry. it was only when cheta emba came up to me and told me that i had been her role model for forever that i started crying like i wanted my mama. it was the nicest thing to be told that. i mean like i didn't honestly even think that she liked me. our moms work together, but like on the second new orleans we were friends, that was the trip that i met alex, and at that time she liked him and whatever and then like we ... flung or whatever, and like she stopped talking to me period, but i didn't know or whatever and like i don't know. i just wish now that i would have reached out to her more over the years since then. i honestly had no idea that i could be influential to anyone like that. cause honestly i just don't feel like i'm influential like that ya know? i actually struggled for a while because i didn't think i would be remembered/ know for anything, and i guess it reassured me that i am known... or whatever. i'm weird. oh well. but yeah i don't know. that really just struck me and i'm so glad that she told me that. :) omgsh i had no idea how tall she was until tonight!! wowwww! :)) anywayyys



so tonight was also woman's night. we did lottsa fun stuff.
first, facials. raspberries, plain yogurt, and cucumbers. all mixed together and placed on our beautiful faces :) it smelled soo good, but apparently it didn't taste too good, i didn't try to find out though.
second, junk food. diet and regular coke. cookie dough. poof corn. doritos. raspberries. cucumber water. cucumber. snickers. mounds. reeses pieces. need i say more.
third, saran wrap and pads. just check facebook. you'll know who and what. the group of people in my car got 3 cars total and put 2 pads on another car.. so that was us. :) anyways

it's now 345am and we're talking about going to waffle house for breakfast.. what else is new? haha i love you!!

you know what i realized tonight, i'm glad on the one aspect that i'm leaving, because i won't 1) be expected to plan things all that often anymore until i come home on break with everyone and 2) i won't have to get crapped on whenever people are unhappy or stressed about what we're doing that i could or could not have planned. that'll be nice. :)

the colony of texas where twitter texts too much

has anyone heard of or watched this new show called the colony? it's not new. this is season two actually, but i never watched the first season... i hadn't heard of it. anyways, i'm enjoying it. and i'll keep ya updated on just how it keeps going :))

holy crap my feraking phone keeps going off. and it keeps being twitter.. ugh. obnoxious. anyways hahahaha


soooo tomorrow i'll go to alex's for lunch, and then i'm gonna go to youth group. omgsh i only have two more left. wow. college is coming so quickly!! it's crazy. i'm ready to move on from that though. i want to be challenged more. i feel God calling me to something that's going to really make me think and study more which i totally need right now.

last week i went to texas to visit colin. it was soo much fun! i had a great time. i will admit that sometimes i got a little annoyed because he would be talking about how awesome his new best friends were a lot (even though i was the one packing his boxes to move him from one apartment to another) and then too i didn't like that i didn't know anyone down there so when we went out with the people that the family knew they would talk about other people and things that i couldn't talk about which kinda sucked too. colin took me to chi alpha which is like his life down there. it was NOT for me in the least. neither was the church we attended that sunday (which is his every week church). i don't know if you guys know this, but i've now heard tongues spoken a total of 4 times in my whole life. the first, second, third, and fourth times i cried. as soon as i hear it i freak out and like start shaking and crying. it's awful. i've prayed and prayed for it because i know it's from the Lord and good and stuff, but it just scares the daylights out of me. it makes me want to crawl in a hole and never come out. this past timme thought it wasn't quite as much crying so maybe i'm getting better about it. i hope so because i'm quite frankly embarassed by it. i've always said to each his own and that i wouldn't pass judgment on anyone, but how can people know i'm not judging them if i'm running out of placces crying and shaking and stuff. things will get better eventually. it probably doesn't help that i have never learned anything about tounges. i'm not very good, and never have been for that matter, at reading a whole book of the Bible through. i'm pretty good at jumping around which isn't the greatest thing in the world, but it's what i've done. anyways, i only found out on this trip that tongues is spoken about very much in acts, so i'm going to try and read up on some of that once i finish reading joshua. i really want to read that book and be able to say i read a wholle book on my own. the thing with finishing a book for me though is that i just get tired/bored of it and want something new which is totally lame i know. so please pray for me that i will develope the wisdom to know more about the Holy Spirit as well as for my fear of tongues.

today i went college shopping with my mom. can you believe i leave in 2 weeks?? woww!! i got towels, bed stands, bandaids, shampoo, hair de frizzer, a computer chair, laundry hampers, and a bunch of other crap. on the subject of college i'm gonna put this on here, but i think that pms totally had something to do with it. so i got home from texas yesterday and i wanted to see alex, but he had a party to go to, so i was like okay what are you doing tomorrow, and homeboy says he has to work all day. so at that point i was a little bummed because i missed him and would liked to have seen him, well then i started to think about the amount of time i had left. two weeks. one of those weeks he'll be at the beach with him family and then one of those days i have to spend with my friend llyod who is moving out to san antonio tx to get a job and live with family. so in all honesty we have like 6 days together before i officially move and like some of that time i'm obviously gonna have to spend packing. i know i'll only be an hour and a half away from him, but that's still an hour farther from him that i won't have a car or way to get to him if he needed me or vice versa. i know that i need to sit back and trust in God and know that when i'm not with alex that the Lord is going to come in and fill that void i'm feeling, but it's still scary. he's become that one that i always want to run to and tell everything and make sure is taken care of. i can't imagine what i would be like without him. ugh i probably sound like some middle school girl, but whatever i don't care. i mean i know i'll miss my friends and my family. there's no doubt in my mind that i won't, but i don't know. i think those things will really hit me more once i get TO school. when i ddon't have them around. i know we'll all keep up though through skype and facebook or whatever, but it's still crazy. we're all stepping out on a limb. shoot 75% of us are stepping out on the same limb. jmu is real popular around this senior girl's friends. not just from church, but from school too. ah well. so is life. things will work out i know. God will provide and protect me.

well i hope i haven't bored you to tears. i'm just sappy right now so i figured i'd blog a little since i don't do it that much anyways.

I LOVE YOU!!