goodness :)

i've been in such a good mood lately :) i don't remember the last time i felt so happy and like good to be honest. I was in such a bummer place but now it's like ... sunshine :) hahahahaha

speaking of making me happy, this is DEFINATELY my favorite commerical EVER!!








SOOOO great :)))

anyways, i'm stoked for tommrow, i'm abducting stephanie! woot woot! she has nnnoooo clue what's going on which makes me sooo happy :)) ughhhh she's thinkin it has everything to do with other people and wow i'm just soo excited! for once i'm gonna be able to do something right i feel like and it makes me so happy because she deserves something special ya know? man that girl. favss.

anyways, saturday i'm supposed to go the beaach with my family for like a one night two day trip. i feel like it's going to be a fail since they didn't book a hotel or anything and since it's supposed to rain all weekend down there. darn it.

i was thinking earlier about molly. i had another nightmare about the whole ordeal last night. it's basically always what really happened ya know? me taking pictures from the tree in my side yard and then decide to go over to the dog pen and get some pictures. LC comes out instantly panting and jumping around, but molly takes a bit longer than usual. i mean she was eighteen, older than me i think. and she had this fatty tumor, i mean this thing was big, bigger than my head. and it was on her right hip. and it's always me going back over there and her slowly coming out of the dog house with me calling her. i don't see it at first because i'm looking at her left side, but then i enter the pen and she about falls down on her right side, leaving the left side of her body exposed. that's when i notice that her tumor has ruptured and she's split open. i'll never forget that moment. i can't. it's burnt in my brain. it's hard when i think about it in my subconscious though. like you want to sleep to get away from those things, but some things you just can't. i know she's better off now, but .. i don't know. i'm being selfish and i'm sorry. this isn't something that i can just stop ya know? i surely wish i could. that would be wonderful. i know the day will come when i won't think about it and hopefully the nightmares will stop. that time just needs to come sooner. i look at LC now. small, innocent. she misses mollt. that was her buddy. the one she grew up with. they played together all the time even though molly was that old. like seriously molly was still playing fetch and everything. and i look at LC and i can't help but think of molly and what they would have been doing around whatever time of day it is and wondering what they would have been doing together if she were still around. i miss her. life goes on. but i'll never forget that dog. that sounds so lame, but like as cliche as it is she was my family. i loved her very much.

didn't mean to go on a sadd little tangent there, like i said i just looked at LC and thought about that stuff. anyways. imma go to bed. i love you guys!! :))